Children of the Shadows: 3-4-1
by Kara
Summary: Syl learns a new word... Christmas Children of the Shadows semi-fluff


3-4-1  
by Kara  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine…I can only dream. *sigh*  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: Through "Some Assembly Required"--Pre-series, part of the Children of the Shadows series  
Summary: Syl learns a new word  
A/N: This is based on the first annual X-5 Holiday Challenge. I hope you enjoy, Jane!  
  
2005  
  
Syl sat patiently as Dr. Cheney stitched up her scalp. She breathed in and out the same way the Colonel taught to take the pain away, even though she could still feel the prick of the needle against her hairline. At least she wasn't bleeding anymore. Her head bled so much that Krit looked like he was going to fall over.  
  
"Almost done, 710," the doctor said. Her voice was gentle. Syl didn't hear soft voices very often. The Colonel and the TAC leaders mostly yelled. Zack yelled a lot too, but he had to. He was C.O. And the doctors never said much of anything. They just stared at her like she was a bug or something. "There you go. You're a good girl, 710, to sit still for so long."  
  
Of course Syl sat still. If you wiggled around while you were getting stitches, then they came out crooked, like Ben's did when he split his lip a long time ago. Ben still had a funny-looking scar on his lip. The Colonel said it would probably fade eventually. This was the second time Dr. Cheney called her a girl. The doctor also called Zack and Ben and Krit 'boys.' Maybe Tinga knew what the difference was. Tinga was one of the Oldest. She knew everything. She was a good biggest sister.  
  
Looking down, Syl noticed that Dr. Cheney was wearing green socks. Focusing in closer, she saw that the socks had little red men on them. The face looked like a nomalie's face, all covered in white hair, with a big red nose. Maybe the man got hit because he forgot the objective for the mission. Zane still had a bruise on his face from where one of the TAC leaders hit him.  
  
"Who's the little man?" She knew she wasn't supposed to ask questions, but Jondy asked questions all the time, and none of the doctors hit her or said anything to the Colonel. Jondy was a Favorite though.   
  
"The little man?" Dr. Cheney's eyes were focused on Syl's scalp. They were green like the doctor's socks. Reaching behind her, the doctor pulled out a wad of cotton and rubbed something stingy against Syl's head. Syl bit her lip. She wouldn't cry, because soldiers didn't cry. Emotion was a weakness, even if some of the doctors sometimes put their mouths to your cuts to make them better. There wasn't any medicinal value, but for some reason, it helped take the pain away.  
  
"The little man on your socks." Syl looked up at the doctor again, trying to catch Dr. Cheney's eyes. The doctor taped a bandage across the stitches before pushing back her chair and turning back towards Syl. She had the same look that Tawny got sometimes, when you tried to explain something to him that he didn't want to hear.  
  
"The little man…?" Dr. Cheney pushed some of her yellow hair out of her eyes. The hair was long and curled up like the big rolls of copper wire in the telecom room. "You mean Santa Claus?" Syl couldn't read the look on the doctor's face. It reminded her of the time Krit ate the fish right out of the stream in the training yard, and it wriggled around in his stomach.  
  
She nodded, not sure if she asked the right question. Santa Claus. Syl said the name to herself a few times before asking the doctor another question. It was a new word. Ben would like it. He liked hearing new words. "Who's he?"  
  
Dr. Cheney glanced around like she was nervous. They were the only ones in the infirmary, because Syl was the only X-5 injured on this training mission. Jack accidentally knocked her out of a tree into the snow during Capture the Flag. "Santa Claus is an old man who brings gifts to boys and girls on Christmas. To outside boys and girls."  
  
So it was an Outside thing. Syl wasn't sure how she felt about Outside. The Colonel said it was a scary, dirty place where everyone fought and didn't have enough to eat, and there were lots of diseases. She knew how she felt about the TAC leaders who yelled too much, and how much she liked taking apart the electronic surveillance equipment with Zane in Telecom. That was almost as fun as when the Colonel actually let her touch the demolitions equipment. But Outside…that was something even Ben didn't have stories about.  
  
"What are gifts?" She might as well ask all the questions she could. Doctors didn't usually answer questions. Ben got punished for answering questions too much, especially when the Colonel heard about it.  
  
"Gifts are things people give to you because they love you." Dr. Cheney wore the nice look on her face again as she straightened Syl's bandage. The doctor touched her cheek before putting away the needle and antiseptic thread. "Santa Claus brings things for all the good boys and girls outside in the world because he loves them."  
  
"But he doesn't come to Manticore." Syl wasn't sure, but she wanted the facts confirmed. If the guards ever saw a nomalie dressed all in red coming with gift things, they'd probably kill him. "Santa Claus would compromise Manticore's security."  
  
Dr. Cheney nodded as she sat back in the chair. "Unfortunately, he would." There was a sad look on her face. Dr. Cheney never heard the Colonel's Emotions Are A Weakness lecture. She let all her feelings show. The enemy would be able to figure out her weakness really easily. But the doctor was a Watcher, not a soldier. Maybe it was easier, not being a soldier. Then you didn't have to keep your emotions hidden up all the time.  
  
Syl relaxed back on the cot as she waited for someone from her squadron to come retrieve her. Maybe Tinga would know the difference between Outside boys and girls, and why they got gifts from this Santa nomalie. He looked scary. Maybe he escaped from the basement where the other nomalies lived. But Syl didn't want to think about them, or the nomalie that grabbed her when they were taking the long way to the training yard.  
  
"What's Christmas?" Syl felt like she was getting closer and closer to the real objective of Santa. She wasn't using proper questioning tactics, but you had to adapt your plan of action in order to fulfill the mission objective.  
  
The doctor stopped straightening up, almost as if she'd forgotten Syl was there. She looked at Syl for a very long time, as if she was deciding what to say. Everyone knew that the doctors and nurses and soldiers and TAC leaders weren't supposed to tell them things about Outside. They learned all that later on, before they went on their first solo missions. But sometimes, Syl's brothers and sisters could get information out. Ben was really good at that. So was Jondy.  
  
"Christmas is…" Dr. Cheney paused for a long time as she came to sit by Syl again. "It's a day where you celebrate how much you love your family and everyone around you. Do you know what family is?"  
  
Syl nodded. "Family's your squadron. They're the ones who make sure you accomplish the objective, and the ones who make sure you stay on task. It's all your brothers and sisters." That's what Tinga and Ben figured out. The Colonel always talked about family, and how much the X-5s meant to each other. It made Syl feel better to know that there were others like her who needed her.  
  
This time, the doctor looked surprised. "So Christmas is a day when you tell your brothers and sisters how much you love them. But they never taught you about love, did they?" Syl shook her head slowly, careful to keep her distance from Dr. Cheney. Dr. Cheney was a nice doctor, but even nice people hit sometimes. "Love is…" Dr. Cheney reached out for Syl's hand, placing it against the doctor's chest. "Feel that? My heart beating? Do you ever feel warm inside your heart when X-5599 says that you've done something right? Or when one of your brothers or sisters helps you complete a mission?"  
  
This time, Syl thought before she answered. There was that warm, full feeling she felt sometimes, when Ben told a story about the good place, or whenever Maxie and Jack got the shakes, and the others had to protect them. "If we do a good job, then no one gets hurt. And I don't want my brothers and sisters to get hurt." She looked up at Dr. Cheney, pulling back slightly. They weren't sposed to talk this way with the Doctors and the Watchers. Thoughts were secret things that belonged only in the barracks, or at the High Place. They were night-time things, like names.  
  
The doctor smiled, so Syl figured she gave the right answer. "That's love. Love is when you want to protect people, and you like being around them. Christmas is about love, because it celebrates a man who died because he loved people so much. He did it to protect them."  
  
So Christmas honored a soldier fulfilling his duty to save his squadron. Maybe it was something Manticore, and not Outside. "The Santa nomalie brings gifts to Outside people because the soldier that died loves them?"  
  
"The Santa nomalie brings boys and girls gifts to reward them for being good and loving other people, and to remind them to be good to everyone," Dr. Cheney corrected. She patted Syl's head, something that Syl hated. Her scalp itched when the Doctors and Watchers rubbed it. Maybe it wouldn't itch if she had long yellow hair like Dr. Cheney. Maybe when she was older, and she got to go on solo missions…  
  
"Ma'am?" Syl looked over at the doorway and saw Krit standing at attention. "Colonel Lydecker sent me to fetch X5-710, ma'am."  
  
"X5-710's all fixed up, 711." Dr. Cheney lifted Syl up and set her on her feet. "Leave the bandaid on until tomorrow morning, 710. Be careful in the showers tonight. The stitches shouldn't get wet."  
  
Syl saluted the doctor. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am." Maybe the doctor loved her. Someone loved them at Manticore. Maybe not the Colonel, but Syl knew her brothers and sisters loved her. And it meant even more, knowing that there was a word to explain it.  
  
"You're smiling," Krit muttered under his breath as they made their way back to the barracks. The halls were deserted for once. Not even guards were stationed in the corridors. "What'd Dr. Cheney say? Did she tell you a story?" Her brother tried not to look excited. They all loved stories. Ben was running out of things to tell, and Tinga tried to tell stories, but she wasn't as good as Ben.  
  
"About Christmas, and love." Syl tried to keep her voice low, knowing that Krit would hear her no matter what. She touched his arm, and then hers, motioning as if they were running together. Krit's eyes strayed towards her as she brought her hands to touch her heart. "Love," Syl whispered again. She touched her heart, and then his hand, spelling out the words in the alphabet the Colonel taught them. I. Love. You.  
  
Krit stopped, copying her motions. Three letters, four letters, one letter. You. Love. I. He gave her a lopsided grin as he said the word out loud. "Love."  
  
"X5-711."  
  
The voice came from behind them, but Syl knew who it was. Only the Colonel was better at sneaking and stealthing than her brothers and sisters. And when the Colonel used that tone of voice, everyone knew it wasn't good.  
  
As one, Syl and Krit turned around and saluted the Colonel. "Sir, yessir!" Their voices sounded small in the hallway. Syl didn't feel as strong as she did when she was with her brothers and sisters. She resisted the urge to grab Krit's hand, just to have something to hang on to.  
  
"You learned a new word, 711." Colonel Lydecker's voice was cold, even more than it usually was. "Who taught you that?"  
  
"No one, sir," Krit answered, looking straight ahead. He wore the soldier mask, showing no emotion on his face. Syl noticed how tightly he clutched his hands behind his back though. This was why she loved her brothers and sisters. Because they stood up for her, even to the Colonel.  
  
"It was my fault, sir." Syl snapped a salute, looking at the buttons on the Colonel's shirt. "I heard one of the guards saying the word, sir, and I told X5-711, sir. I should be punished. I forgot the objective, sir."  
  
She wasn't prepared for the force of the Colonel's hand hitting her face. The blow almost knocked her backwards, but Syl held her ground. She knew that she couldn't give in to the Colonel. Soldiers didn't show weakness. Especially not to Enemies like the Colonel.  
  
"You'll never say that word again, will you, 710?" The Colonel's voice was soft, his blue eyes so cold that Syl fought the urge to shudder. She bit the inside of her cheek, eyes watering from the blow. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't show Lydecker any weakness.  
  
"Sir, no sir!" She snapped a salute, staring at the buttons again on the Colonel's shirt. They were brass buttons, with a star design etched on them. If she looked at the buttons, she wouldn't see the Colonel's face. If Syl looked at the Colonel's face, she knew he'd see the tears in her eyes.  
  
"Back to the barracks, soldiers." And without another word, the Colonel moved down the hallway, leaving them alone.  
  
Krit's hand reached out, squeezing hers. You okay? he signed with his free hand. Syl nodded, touching her sore cheek cautiously. Her face was beginning to puff out, and she'd probably be purple and yellow tomorrow morning. Zack would ask why she had a bruise on her face. He'd probably yell at her for a while, and then he'd squeeze her hand as she fell asleep, just to let her know that he really didn't mean it. Zack loved her. He just had a hard time being Biggest Brother to everyone. Maybe he loved them too much.  
  
Before she could move forward, Krit tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him. He held out his free hand, holding up three fingers, four fingers, and then one finger. You. Love. I. And he gave her that bright smile that only he and Max had--the same smile that Zack gave Jondy and Max sometimes. Maybe they couldn't say the words, but her brothers and sisters knew. They'd always love each other. They were family. And family was something even for Manticore soldiers.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
2021  
  
Syl turned from the window. The lights on the tree had burnt out, but her brothers didn't seem to care. Krit and Zane were both passed out on the mattress in the corner, dead to the world. At least Zane wasn't awake anymore. Drunk Zane was almost as fun to deal with a Drunk Zack. At least Drunk Zane didn't throw things or punch walls. He just stared out the window and cried--for the girl he loved and had to leave, for Ben, for Eva and Jack.  
  
They still didn't really celebrate Christmas. Syl wasn't sure she really understood the whole Jesus thing. Santa was still a nomalie, though she'd never admit to anyone that the old man frightened her even in fifteen years later. At least they were together this year. Rumor had it Maxie was back in Seattle with Logan after Manticore burnt down, but no one was sure what happened to Zack. Zack disappeared off the face of the earth. Jondy still didn't believe he was dead.  
  
There weren't too many Christmas decorations, aside from the stolen tree and the blinking blue lights Zane hotwired to the illegal power outlet Syl set up. Half-dead mistletoe hung above the doorway, but none of them really knew what it was for. Krit tried to eat the berries once, but he threw up for two days straight.   
  
"Syl?" Krit's eyes opened and he pushed back from Zane to make room for her on the mattress. Their older brother rolled over on his back and began to snore. Even from across the room, his breath reeked like old cheese. With a sigh, Syl settled on the far side of Krit, letting him be the barrier between her and Zane. She curled up at his side the same way they did on night missions in the cold, the way she used to at night in the barracks after bad dreams. Krit rolled over and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently. "Merry Christmas, Syl."  
  
"Merry Christmas, Krit." It was different now. He was more than her brother. Ever since they took down Manticore, he hadn't left her side. Syl didn't know what she'd do without him. They lost so much already. But she loved him just as much as she had when they were small, and knew that he loved her too."  
  
Syl felt a gentle tapping on her stomach. In the dark, she noticed Krit's long fingers flash three numbers at her. Three. Four. One.  
  
"I love you too, Krit."  
  
Maybe all that Santa and Jesus shit didn't matter. She had her family, and that was all that counted, even Outside. 


End file.
